Croik surveys the arts
May. 23rd, 2005 11:28 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
croikThis last week has been quite the experience in media. So here's what I have to say (may contain spoilers):
So if you didn't know, Quitin Tarentino (did I spell his name wrong? HA!) directed the season finale of CSI, which happens to be one of my favorite shows. And dear God, keep that man away from a camera >.< The concept--man buried alive--was not bad. In fact, it was pretty cool. But Tarentino had to throw in all his own little lame style-markers around, so what you get is a quasi-CSI, where the mood is periodically ruined by the rantings of an asshat wannabe.
Is it a rule that in all his movie there has to be a random talking scene where everyone is conversing at the same time, talking over each other, blabbering on about totally worthless bullshit that even if you could make out, has no effect on the rest of the plot whatsoever? Does blood automatically equal funny, even out of context with the rest of the show? Does he not understand that a short 60 year old man can not drag a tall, 150 lb man 70ft to the trunk of an SUV in a matter of 2 minutes!? Or that Semtex makes you go BOOM? Or that we don't give a shit about the person in jail who ACTUALLY COMMITTED A CRIME OH NOES ITS SO CRUEL TO BE IN JAIL WHEN YOU HELP COMMIT MURDER! WAAAANGST!!
Back off, bitch! Leave my Grissy alone!! *cluches to bosom*
On another note...
Oh, Star Wars. How I laughed and laughed. My brother will tell you I had to clamp both hands over my face to keep from bursting, nearly suffocating myself in the process. But it's totally not my fault that Obi-wan is such a drama queen. He MADE me laugh.
Episode 3. Yes, it was better than 1 and 2, but how much is that saying, really? Graphics - great. Plot - not awful, if you look at the very basics of war, political upheaval, betrayal... Near the end it really fell apart but other than that it *might* have been a good story. But dear gods, the WRITING. The ACTING. I never liked Hayden, but what the hell happened to Portman? "I don't beLIEVE that. That CAN'T be TRUE! *wahh!*" And Ian!? (Wait, I never liked Ian, either). I guess Palpatine was the best actor out of all of them. And Wookie #3.
Lucas is like the Wachowski brothers (did I spell their name wrong? HA!). Started with something cool (eps 4-6). Everyone liked it. Cue inflation of ego x 30,000. By now, Lucas isn't making stuff genuinely good, he's just slapping a bunch of stuff together that people said they liked from the first trio. People liked Boba Fett--throw in more Fett! People like Han and Leia's fight-flirting--make Anikin and Padme argue! People liked allusions to Luke's destiny--Anikin, the immaculate conception! More graphics! More dramatic speeches! More lightsabers! More YODA!!
But the problem is, give someone too much of a good thing and it becomes LAME. Anikin and Padme didn't have any real chemistry in 2--it wasn't like Han and Leia, where they argued with PASSION. They just bickered like children, and then were suddenly in love. Destiny is cool when it's not crammed down your throat. Graphics are cool when you have substance to back it up.
But...well, lightsabers are always cool.
And Ep 3 just proves it's just a lot of pointless fan-pandering now. The dialogue was awful. They were all out of character--Obi and Anikin were nearly at each other's throats up to the end of the second movie, but they start Ep 3 as best buddies. "Anikin, you totally earned it--you're one sweet dude." "Oh, no, Master, it was all thanks to you." "No no, you're just that awesome. Are you sure I can't braid your hair like Qui-gon did for me...? No? Well, maybe some other time, then." I didn't like how mean both of them were before, but it's even worse acting like it didn't happen. I guess you're supposed to assume the war matured Anikin some, but why bother making him nice for a while only to make him evil again?
And PADME. Goddamn, woman, no love from me. You know what Leia would have done if she heard Luke was turning to the Dark Side? Slapped the shit out of him, that's what! Driven that nice shiny spaceship right up Palpatine's ass. I won't spoil it all but Padme was a horrible disappointment.
Anikin's turn to the Dark Side...could have been done a little better, too. Here's my interpretation:
Anikin: What have I DONE!? *sob*
Palpy: Oh, that? You're evil now.
Anikin: ...
Palpy: Now go kill babies.
Anikin: Okay.
And let's just leave it at that.
Also...
I just have to say, Square needs to stop taunting the fans. Their PS3 demo sucked. It fails at a tech demo, you know why? Because as far as pre-rendered game graphics go, it wasn't *spectacular*. I mean, look at Nanobreaker. The game sucked, but the FMV graphics were REALLY good. And this is PS2. They expect me to get worked up over Aeris having clevage? Hmmmmmmm.
Besides, now all the FF7 fans are squealing about "They had BETTER remake FF7 now!" They're driving me NUTS! Thanks a lot, Square XPPP
And yet...
I know there aren't many peeps on my friends list who read Gantz, but goddamn I love this shit. Did you ever think that tits, splattered brain matter, and good characterization could ever coexist? Holy shit look, it can! Did you ever want to see an alien with 12 breasts and a goutee drag a man around Ikebukuro by his penis? You can!! How about a salery man inhale a baby? Look no further!
Or, if nothing else, how about some Bish?
I've been playing the PS2 game. It's so awesome--I totally made Hojo fall for Kurono. "You wanna walk home together?" he says, blushing. <3333 Konami, you so bold.
In short, A Baby's Body Knows No Limits!!!
So if you didn't know, Quitin Tarentino (did I spell his name wrong? HA!) directed the season finale of CSI, which happens to be one of my favorite shows. And dear God, keep that man away from a camera >.< The concept--man buried alive--was not bad. In fact, it was pretty cool. But Tarentino had to throw in all his own little lame style-markers around, so what you get is a quasi-CSI, where the mood is periodically ruined by the rantings of an asshat wannabe.
Is it a rule that in all his movie there has to be a random talking scene where everyone is conversing at the same time, talking over each other, blabbering on about totally worthless bullshit that even if you could make out, has no effect on the rest of the plot whatsoever? Does blood automatically equal funny, even out of context with the rest of the show? Does he not understand that a short 60 year old man can not drag a tall, 150 lb man 70ft to the trunk of an SUV in a matter of 2 minutes!? Or that Semtex makes you go BOOM? Or that we don't give a shit about the person in jail who ACTUALLY COMMITTED A CRIME OH NOES ITS SO CRUEL TO BE IN JAIL WHEN YOU HELP COMMIT MURDER! WAAAANGST!!
Back off, bitch! Leave my Grissy alone!! *cluches to bosom*
On another note...
Oh, Star Wars. How I laughed and laughed. My brother will tell you I had to clamp both hands over my face to keep from bursting, nearly suffocating myself in the process. But it's totally not my fault that Obi-wan is such a drama queen. He MADE me laugh.
Episode 3. Yes, it was better than 1 and 2, but how much is that saying, really? Graphics - great. Plot - not awful, if you look at the very basics of war, political upheaval, betrayal... Near the end it really fell apart but other than that it *might* have been a good story. But dear gods, the WRITING. The ACTING. I never liked Hayden, but what the hell happened to Portman? "I don't beLIEVE that. That CAN'T be TRUE! *wahh!*" And Ian!? (Wait, I never liked Ian, either). I guess Palpatine was the best actor out of all of them. And Wookie #3.
Lucas is like the Wachowski brothers (did I spell their name wrong? HA!). Started with something cool (eps 4-6). Everyone liked it. Cue inflation of ego x 30,000. By now, Lucas isn't making stuff genuinely good, he's just slapping a bunch of stuff together that people said they liked from the first trio. People liked Boba Fett--throw in more Fett! People like Han and Leia's fight-flirting--make Anikin and Padme argue! People liked allusions to Luke's destiny--Anikin, the immaculate conception! More graphics! More dramatic speeches! More lightsabers! More YODA!!
But the problem is, give someone too much of a good thing and it becomes LAME. Anikin and Padme didn't have any real chemistry in 2--it wasn't like Han and Leia, where they argued with PASSION. They just bickered like children, and then were suddenly in love. Destiny is cool when it's not crammed down your throat. Graphics are cool when you have substance to back it up.
But...well, lightsabers are always cool.
And Ep 3 just proves it's just a lot of pointless fan-pandering now. The dialogue was awful. They were all out of character--Obi and Anikin were nearly at each other's throats up to the end of the second movie, but they start Ep 3 as best buddies. "Anikin, you totally earned it--you're one sweet dude." "Oh, no, Master, it was all thanks to you." "No no, you're just that awesome. Are you sure I can't braid your hair like Qui-gon did for me...? No? Well, maybe some other time, then." I didn't like how mean both of them were before, but it's even worse acting like it didn't happen. I guess you're supposed to assume the war matured Anikin some, but why bother making him nice for a while only to make him evil again?
And PADME. Goddamn, woman, no love from me. You know what Leia would have done if she heard Luke was turning to the Dark Side? Slapped the shit out of him, that's what! Driven that nice shiny spaceship right up Palpatine's ass. I won't spoil it all but Padme was a horrible disappointment.
Anikin's turn to the Dark Side...could have been done a little better, too. Here's my interpretation:
Anikin: What have I DONE!? *sob*
Palpy: Oh, that? You're evil now.
Anikin: ...
Palpy: Now go kill babies.
Anikin: Okay.
And let's just leave it at that.
Also...
I just have to say, Square needs to stop taunting the fans. Their PS3 demo sucked. It fails at a tech demo, you know why? Because as far as pre-rendered game graphics go, it wasn't *spectacular*. I mean, look at Nanobreaker. The game sucked, but the FMV graphics were REALLY good. And this is PS2. They expect me to get worked up over Aeris having clevage? Hmmmmmmm.
Besides, now all the FF7 fans are squealing about "They had BETTER remake FF7 now!" They're driving me NUTS! Thanks a lot, Square XPPP
And yet...
I know there aren't many peeps on my friends list who read Gantz, but goddamn I love this shit. Did you ever think that tits, splattered brain matter, and good characterization could ever coexist? Holy shit look, it can! Did you ever want to see an alien with 12 breasts and a goutee drag a man around Ikebukuro by his penis? You can!! How about a salery man inhale a baby? Look no further!
Or, if nothing else, how about some Bish?
I've been playing the PS2 game. It's so awesome--I totally made Hojo fall for Kurono. "You wanna walk home together?" he says, blushing. <3333 Konami, you so bold.
In short, A Baby's Body Knows No Limits!!!
